What if?

So.... There's this guy, yeah?

I really, really, really, really like him. Probably more than I've ever liked someone. And he likes someone else.

And today, we got a description of that person.

A description, which according to my friends, fits me perfectly. Here's what he said.

-Blondey Brown Hair - Check.

-Unique eyes - I guess you could check.

-Sits in his area - Check

-Not judgmental - Not to anyone's faces... Check.

-Happy, smiling all the time - I personally think I'm depressed about 80% of the time, but I hide it really well, so.. check?

-He first notices her when she talks to people straight away as soon as she gets to school - Check.

He also called her beautiful, which is obviously his own interpretation, so it's not factored in. And, he hasn't figured out how much he likes her yet, but if she liked him back, he'd date her. Which is a big thing, considering he hates the whole 'dating' thing.

The problem is... I really, really, really, really want it to be me.

But, I really, really don't.

I'm so scared. I shouldn't think about it, because it's only getting my hopes up, probably just for them to be crushed, but I haven't stopped thinking about it; about him.

I've never been in a relationship before, I don't know what to do, or how to act.... I get nervous around boys as it is... I don't know what I would do.

I shouldn't be thinking like this, I'm suppose to be realistic.. there's plenty of other girls who fit that description, plenty of other girls who he talks to more than me..

I still keep thinking though, what if it is me?

But... What if it's not?