Now, I'm not overly obsessed with the idea of love. But, I do love the idea of it. To have someone that's your lover, your best friend, and your soul mate. It appeals to me a lot. I see all the elderly couples so in love, like they're 16. I truly hope I could have something at least half as good as that.
I have my reasons for thinking like this. Not one member of my family, that I know has been in a 'good' relationship.
My Great Grandma. She wasn't with anyone when I knew her, just before she died.
My Granny. She's 70 something. Not with anyone, at the moment. I'm not sure about how many previous relationships she's actually had.
My Nana. My Grandad cheated on her many times, before leaving. They hardly ever spoke since. They never legally divorced, and when I met him he had a new girlfriend, a complete bitch. A few months later he died.
My Auntie. She's had multiple relationships. Also 70 something. I think a few abused her. She's had a terrible love life.
My Uncle. Multiple relationships. Don't really associate with him.
My Other Auntie. No idea about how many relationships she's had. Not many, I don't think. She's almost 50.
My Mum and Dad.
Mum's only ever been with Dad. They were high school sweethearts. Mum thought Dad's priority was family, which is exactly why Mum liked him so much. They got married. Dad cheated on Mum. Mum took him back, because family was the most important thing to her.
He cheated on her many times in their marriage, one time causing him to get his jaw broken by an unhappy boyfriend. Didn't stop him. Dad told my brother that he even did it when they were engaged. The affair that ended the relationship went on for about five years before I knew about it. That woman is the woman he is remarried to now. I remember nearly every detail of being told that they were getting a divorce. The next day in school, I cried my eyes out. I do NOT want that to happen to my kids. The marriage my Mum and Father had wasn't particularly kind, either. Dad refused to go out to nice places, or just walk down the street with my Mum, because he was ashamed of the way she looked.
One of my brothers has just split from a long term relationship, he's 22. She's a fucking bitch. Just sayin'. Their split is so recent, he's still living there, in the spare bedroom.
My other brother lives with me. With his fiancée, and their two year old daughter. They've been split so many times it's not funny. They're relationship is the furthest from functional. She had her bags packed for the thousandth time again today, ready to leave and take my Niece away from us. Talking about their relationship could put me here for hours.. let's just say I've been there for a lot of their major fights. They'll always be in my head.
All of this doesn't give me much hope. I'm also fifteen. I've got terrible self confidence. I've never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, and never really had a 'guy friend' since last year. What a sad life I have. :P
I do hope I can have a decent relationship. Be like those amazing elderly couples I see on the street. I love seeing the way they look at each other, like they just saw each other for the first time. It gives me hope. One day, I hope I can be on the receiving end, and someone just like me can look at my amazing husband and I and have hope. 'Cause after all the shit with my families relationships; All I have is hope.
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